Mean girls! They're EVERYWHERE. And they never go away! They're there since primary school, through middle, elementary, high school, they're there at college, and they're even there when you start working in the real world. There's no stop to them! They come in all shapes and forms! But how do you recognize them? Here are some tips to help you distinguish and eliminate the good from the bad:
Girls that are two-faced. These are the worst! These are the girls who are nice to your face and act like your best friend, but then they go behind your back and say something bad about you. The sad part is, there are many girls out there like this. That's the bad news. The good news is, you don't need to be intimidated!
When I was in high school, there was this girl, H, who at first glance you could just tell was a fake person. She just gave you that vibe that didn't feel sincere. I should have stuck with my gut, but instead I confided in her and thought she was one of my good friends. Later I found out I was deeply wrong. She back-bited me to no end! And it was not only me. She did this to all the girls in our friend circle.
Rule #1 when it comes to the back-biters: If they're talking bad about someone else, chances are they're talking bad about you, too! The sad part was I was too young to realize this. I was also to naive to realize I could have stood up for myself and called her out on it, but instead I chose not to ever say anything.
Rule #2: Always stand up for yourself! Staying silent never fixes the problem (and neither is telling other people about your problem!) If you're too intimidated to speak face-to-face, talk to her on the phone and tell her how you feel: "I heard you said this and this about me. Please don't talk behind my back ever again." Short and simple. Back then, I wish I'd said something to H because she caused a lot of conflict. The thing is, the people who are two-faced are not as intimidating as you think. Half the time, they don't even realize what they are doing is wrong, so you have to explain to them that people don't appreciate back-biters. But the majority of the time, they all have the same reason for doing what they do: They're INSECURE! They are intimidated by you. They're jealous. They want attention. They're depressed about their own lives! Girls (or boys) like this aren't even worth your time!
Rule #3: People that are mean to you are usually jealous of you. Ever have someone tell you you're too fat or too skinny? Or pick on your clothes or physical features? Always remember girls that do this are bullies! And they're JEALOUS. Girls are JEALOUS human beings and they take their frustration out on other women! Always know that confident women never pick on other people. Fact is, if you're satisfied with your life, you have nothing to complain about. So instead of taking the harsh comments as a negative, take them positively and know that these girls are genuinely jealous creatures.
In high school I had a girl, N, constantly give me mean looks and tell me that I was so skinny that it looks unhealthy. She constantly picked on me on the bus and I was so insecure I could never fight back. At one point I came home crying for hours because she had given me such a terrible body image. The sad part is, most of society's body image comes from what other people tell them. If N never told me I was too skinny, it would never have bothered me. Flash forward a few years, my body filled out and I could finally fit in regular clothes, and N was... well, let's just say give or take a few years, soon SHE won't be able to fit into regular clothes!
Now thinking back on this, I realized N must have been so mean to me because she was jealous. She was jealous I was really skinny and she wasn't. If I was still in that situation, I would know how to handle it better. I would not have been so hurt because I would realize that she was being mean because it was out of spite and jealousy, and I had nothing to be insecure about.
Rule #4: Never change yourself for other people. If people can't accept you for who you are, they are NOT worth your time. Chances are they won't accept you even if you change yourself. People respect people who are confident in themselves and stand up for their beliefs and who they are, because that's just how society is. Most of society contains FOLLOWERS so it's refreshing and admirable to see someone that stands out from the crowd and is different from everybody else.
So just remember - always do what you do best and be happy for who you are! The girls that are mean are only mean because they are not happy with themselves and resort to causing petty arguments, senseless drama and bringing down other people. Don't let people like this into your lives! They are NOT worth your time!